Dr. Lisa Lovelace, psychologist and author of Bubble Breathing Adventures, joins Oceanview Therapy to discuss emotional regulation, bubble breathing, and helping kids find their superpower.
Carmen S.: Welcome, everyone, to another edition of the Lighthouse Spotlight Series at Oceanview Therapy. This series was created to introduce you to professionals who are making a meaningful difference in the lives of children and families through education, therapy, and innovative resources.
Alicia E.: Today, we’re thrilled to welcome Dr. Lisa Lovelace. She’s a licensed psychologist and author of Bubble Breathing Adventures: Find Your Superpower. Dr. Lovelace, thank you so much for joining us. We’re excited to learn about your book and the important work you’ve done to help children build emotional resilience and self-regulation.
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: Thank you for having me.
Carmen S.: Emotional regulation is something every child develops over time, but many families aren’t sure where to begin. Your book really provides a fun and approachable way to introduce these skills, and we’re excited to explore that with you today.
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: Thank you. It’s been a journey — the first time I ever wrote a book in my career, and it’s been really fun to get it out into the world and into the hands of families.
Alicia E.: That’s awesome. So to start the interview, can you tell our audience a little about yourself and what inspired you to write Bubble Breathing Adventures: Find Your Superpower?
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: I’ve been a clinical psychologist for several decades. I’ve lived and worked in New York City, Brooklyn, and Minneapolis, and during that time I started my own online group practice — a multi-state collective of therapists across the country. I love business, marketing, mentoring, coaching, and consulting — I tend to have a lot going on at once — and I never thought about writing a book. That was never on my to-do list.
About five years ago, my brother-in-law was diagnosed with soft tissue sarcoma, a pretty aggressive form of cancer. He was very young at the time, and went through many surgeries over about eight years. He was a lawyer, and we were very close to him. He lived in San Diego with his husband, and they would visit with their dog and spend time with my oldest son, Johnny. Brad — that was his name — passed away at the young age of 51. He was a bright light, genuinely one of a kind, and we were all very close to him.
When Uncle Brad passed away, I needed to do something with my grief. It helped me in my grief process to draw and write — I’d be crying while I worked, but it helped. So the book was born out of grief, really, for me and for my friend, whose son goes to school with my older son. She’s a great artist, though she’d never illustrated a book before — she has her own day job, but our kids go to school together, and she illustrated the book.
She drew Uncle Brad’s dog, who’s also in heaven with him now — his name was Bella. We captured a real picture from one of our trips, of Brad and Johnny, who were inseparable.
I thought there weren’t really any books out there about uncles, or even about a boy and a dog. I wanted it to be empowering for any child who reads it — it doesn’t always have to be about a parent or grandparent. Maybe it’s a teacher, an uncle, or someone else important in a child’s life. I wanted to honor that relationship in my own world, but in a way that was generalizable enough that any child could connect with the story, even without knowing Johnny, Uncle Brad, or Bella. The emotional regulation piece is my clinical brain at work — I wanted it to be for all kids, but the meaning behind it is about the relationship between a child and his uncle and the dog.
Carmen S.: I know your brother-in-law would be so proud. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: Thank you.
Carmen S.: So, about the phrase “find your superpower” — why did you choose that phrase, and what do you hope children take away as their own superpower after reading the book?
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: When you’re raising kids — whether you’re a teacher, an aunt, or a parent — it’s hard. The first year is amazing, but it’s hard in its own way, and it gets hard differently as they become toddlers. I have a preteen and a toddler now, and my older son was more verbal, while my younger one is in speech therapy. So as a parent, you have to really get in there and figure out what your child’s superpowers are — because the hard stuff can really wear on us, and we focus on the difficult behaviors instead of trying to understand what a child is communicating through that behavior.
If we look at every person, we can find good in them — their good behaviors, their good qualities — and I want kids to learn what makes them unique. What’s hard about a toddler can become a strength as they get older — maybe more assertiveness, more confidence, better communication. It’s just harder to manage in the moment, as a parent trying to get them to brush their teeth while they’re “destroying the house.”
So you have to get creative, and I think helping kids and families understand their superpowers — and part of that superpower is learning to control emotions, understand what they are, and what to do with them — is important. We live in a society where we have to keep things under control, but we don’t want to squash people’s emotions. Families aren’t always comfortable with emotional expression — sadness, anger, tantrums. I have tantrums too, as an adult — they just don’t look the same, because I learned how to control them. We’re teaching kids how to hone in on the powers they have in their own brains and bodies, so they can thrive as they get older.
Alicia E.: I love that, and I can definitely relate as a parent of a toddler myself.
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: Just wait — give it five years, seven years, ten years, and then we start over again with teenagers. There’s a whole host of brain development happening, especially since the frontal lobe isn’t fully activated yet — so they have all this independence but don’t fully understand consequences. You can be a toddler, a teenager, or an adult reading this book and still be learning the same skills. I teach adults the same skills — I just talk about them differently. I still use number scales, I still use deep breathing with bubbles, and adults love it too. But the way I talk about emotional regulation with kids is different — we have to meet them in their world and their language.
Alicia E.: Can you tell us what children will experience as they follow the adventure in the book?
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: I hope they can see themselves in the story. Who hasn’t built a fort or a block tower that didn’t turn out the way they wanted, and melted down because of it? I hope kids see that this is normal — it’s okay to get frustrated, we all do. The real question is what you do with that frustration, and not giving up when you’re frustrated. That’s the main point, and then they learn what to actually do with that feeling.
Carmen S.: That leads us to bubble breathing. Can you explain what that is, and why it’s such an effective strategy for young children — and maybe even adults?
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: A hundred percent, for human beings in general. In the book there’s a ladder — one through ten — showing where you’re at in your body when you’re activated. One is calm, ten is super angry. If you take a moment to check in, you’ll usually land on a fairly accurate number. Sometimes people skip right past two and land at a seven without realizing it.
What I hope to teach through breathing starts with a little physiology — your autonomic nervous system. When you see a bear, or a car coming toward you, your sympathetic nervous system activates and ramps everything up. Then your parasympathetic nervous system brings you back down — that’s where breathing comes in. Your brain and body are talking to each other constantly through the nervous system. When your brain senses danger, your body responds, whether the trigger is a car swerving toward you or a fort that didn’t turn out right. Your body doesn’t differentiate between a smoke alarm going off because of burnt toast versus an actual fire.
Teaching breathing helps kids trigger their parasympathetic nervous system to calm down, and once the body calms, the brain follows — “everything must be okay.” The bubbles work well visually — you can see the worries float away, which is part of the metaphor in the book. The breathing with bubbles also teaches proper technique: you breathe in through your nose, hold it, and blow out slowly and intentionally to make the bubbles. In the book, the bubbles represent worries, and popping them represents releasing those worries. So there’s the visual element, plus the deep breathing through the nose, holding it, and blowing out through the mouth.
Some call it square breathing — there are many variations — but the core idea is the same: inhale through your mouth or nose, whichever feels comfortable, hold it for a pause, and then intentionally exhale. It’s not just regular breathing.
Carmen S.: I love that phrase you used — the worries flowing away with the bubbles.
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: Visuals are great for kids, and having something to do with your hands brings in a lot of sensory experience — which speech, language, and occupational therapy all incorporate. It doesn’t have to be bubbles specifically. You could use a straw and a cotton ball and blow it across a table, or even bubble gum if your child is old enough — there are lots of ways to bring in that same kind of visual, sensory experience.
Alicia E.: I love that. I need to remember that for verbal breathing practice with my little one. So, many of our viewers are raising children with autism, ADHD, sensory processing differences, anxiety, or other developmental disabilities. How can this strategy support those children specifically?
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: Great question. I think the world is often built for typically developing individuals, and for neurodivergent kids, things can feel harder. Finding their superpower might mean adapting this book or any skill so that it fits them. They might not like the visual of bubbles popping, or the texture, or the act of blowing — so it’s about finding what works and adapting it.
Breathing can work for anybody, and repetition matters — just like routines at home. If you read a book like this or practice a skill nightly, it becomes part of the routine. The more we model these skills ourselves — like saying out loud, “I’m so frustrated I lost my keys again, what should I do?” — the more kids learn by watching us, regardless of how they’re developing. Adapting it, modeling it repeatedly, and being patient can help any child, regardless of physical or mental health needs.
Carmen S.: When a child is completely overwhelmed — a tantrum, a meltdown, or shutting down — what do you wish parents understood about what’s happening in that moment?
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: There’s the ideal scenario, and there’s what’s actually happening in real time. I’m a psychologist and I still have a toddler who tests me constantly. Once a tantrum hits full meltdown, we’ve missed the window to prevent it — so we go with it. We allow the emotion while keeping everyone safe — you can’t hit me, but you can hit a pillow. We stop destructive behavior but allow the emotion itself.
Less talking is better in those moments — if someone is dysregulated, they’re not going to absorb a lot of words. Something like “I’m here when you’re ready” works well. I don’t love the word “timeout” — I call them “time-ins.” My kids need their own space and time, but I stay nearby. The message is: I can handle your emotions, and I’m not going anywhere. I won’t let you hit or destroy things, but I’m here.
Once they come down, it’s time to reconnect — a hug, a conversation about what happened. Acknowledging the feeling — “you were mad you couldn’t have another cookie, I understand, I get mad too when I can’t have what I want” — helps them realize their feelings are valid. Life is hard, and not getting a cookie isn’t so different from us as adults dealing with our own frustrations. We’re not going to have tantrums the same way kids do, but we have our own version — getting “stuck,” crying, feeling overwhelmed. Often what we want most is for someone to simply say, “that’s not fun, and I’m here for you.”
When we’re tired, overworked, and stretched thin trying to do it all, and kids aren’t cooperating, it can trigger our own stuff — unresolved trauma, lack of sleep, postpartum, perimenopause, whatever it might be. Taking care of yourself as a parent or teacher is essential, because if you’re getting triggered often, it doesn’t help your child. It really comes down to two things: how we actually respond in the moment, and what the ideal response looks like. When their “lid” blows, you wait it out, then regroup and begin again.
Alicia E.: That actually answers my next question, which was about advice for parents who feel discouraged or like they’re not doing enough.
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: Take care of yourself. We’re doing the best we can with what we have in the moment. Nobody is trying to make their kid upset or be a bad parent — life is just difficult, sometimes more than others, depending on what you’re carrying — grief, trauma, or a child with developmental needs that make parenting harder. You need to take care of yourself even more in those situations, whether that means asking friends and family for help, getting respite time, or connecting with case workers. Recharging your own “superpowers” as a parent is essential — we all have them, we just need to find and activate them again when they get depleted.
Carmen S.: As we close, Dr. Lovelace, what’s next for you? Any future books, projects, or resources you’re excited to share — and how can families get in touch with you?
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: We have a national collective of therapists — people I know personally, not just a big company. Our website is SynergyEtherapy.com. We’re in most states, with interns who see clients for $50 or less under supervision, as well as licensed therapists, master’s level counselors, marriage and family therapists, social workers, and psychologists at the doctorate level, all here to help individuals, couples, and families thrive.
As for another book — yes, I think so. I have an idea around starting kindergarten, and I know my illustrator, Anita, would be on board. It’s a lot of work — this one took over a year, with way more hours than people expect from a children’s book with just a few words per page. But I think a “find your superpower” story about the kindergarten transition is coming.
Carmen S.: We can’t wait.
Alicia E.: I definitely need to get the book for myself.
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: I’ll send a copy your way — feel free to use extras for giveaways if that’s helpful. The book is available on Amazon, and you can pair it with bubbles. I always love feedback — there’s a note at the end of the book for families, and information about me and Anita, the illustrator, including how to reach us.
Alicia E.: Great, another way for people to connect with you.
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: We’re very accessible to anyone who wants to reach out.
Alicia E.: Thank you again for spending time with us today and taking time out of your busy schedule. We appreciate not only the practical tools you’ve shared, but the heart behind your work — helping children recognize that they already have the ability to pause, breathe, and navigate big emotions is a powerful message for them and their families.
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: Thank you, I appreciate that. I hope families really enjoy reading it over and over with their kids.
Alicia E.: To learn more about Oceanview Therapy or Synergy E Therapy, discover family resources, and stay up to date on future Spotlight interviews, visit our website and follow us on social media.
Carmen S.: Until next time, remember that every child has a superpower, and sometimes discovering it starts with something as simple as taking one deep breath. Thank you for joining us, and thank you, Dr. Lovelace.
Dr. Lisa Lovelace: Thank you.
